Losing yourself is not a spontaneous act or something that is done on a whim. It is a choice that you consciously make because you feel that you are living your life behind a mask. Like many of us nearing the mid-point of our lives, I began having thoughts of inadequacy, longing for more love and inner fulfillment, and asking, ‘have I come this far to only come this far?’
The paradox of embarking on the journey of losing myself, was actually to find my true self. You could also say that it was a forced hand by the Divine to get me out of my comfort zone to fully realize and live my truth and purpose. I had reached a point where my habits and routines were no longer helping me to grow and expand materially, mentally, or spiritually. I was stuck as opposed to moving forward by not living up to my potential. It was time to level up so that I could live and experience a new phase of accomplishment, joy, and satisfaction in my life.
I began to question if I had been taking action towards anything in my life. Sure, I had a job, a place to live, food on the table and clothes to wear. I was successful at fulfilling my most basic needs of survival, but I was not thriving. This was a pivotal realization for me. Not that having achievements and milestones was not important, but I forgot how to exist in the present moment; I was not stopping to smell the roses, or even acknowledge them.
Although I had already been on my own personal development journey for a few years, I quickly came to recognize that I wasn’t growing as much as I was clearing and healing past relationship dynamics and familial trauma and patterns. I understood that I had to energetically clear my karma and integrate my lessons in order to get myself to a clean slate. I could no longer allow my baggage to be my future. The cliches of, ‘the world is your oyster’ or ‘the world is your canvas’ inspired me, but at the same time, was also very overwhelming.
I began to comprehend that I had been allowing situations and people outside of myself to affect how I perceived my life and behaviors and how I wasn’t really showing up in my own life. Physically, I was present, but my mind was still replaying, feeling, and living my past hurt, loss, and disappointment. At those times, it was easy to feel defeated and late in the “game of life.” I knew that in order for me to take action towards a fulfilling and sustainable future, I had to let go of everything I had been holding onto and essentially rebuild myself in a way that spoke to my core happiness and inner peace, on my terms. I began to finally step into my power and become the rightful leader of my life!
These 5 reminders can assist you on your journey back to your authentic Self:
- Courage of conviction – Take inventory of your values and beliefs that are in alignment with your goals and how you want to show up in your life. This will help you to not be swayed by others’ opinions.
- Self-Accountability – Remember, this journey is personal. It is in your hands to keep yourself in check and have the awareness and ability to call yourself out when you feel off or out of balance.
- Independent Thinking – Your mind is your own. In every moment, you have the opportunity to make decisions for yourself and your life. There will of course be times when you want to consult with family and friends, but in the end your decision will be based on what is right for you.
- Boundaries – By establishing boundaries you are setting the standard for how you want to be treated. This is also redirecting the focus back to yourself and your well-being.
- Continuous Growth – Choose commitment to Self because each day will bring new situations and new thoughts, and this is a life-long journey.
When you are having those instances of confusion and misalignment, stop, take a breath, observe those emotions in your mind and body, and ask yourself, ‘are these my thoughts, or am I being influenced by something external from me?’ It is in these moments where we are given the opportunity to tap into our unrealized strength and capabilities to be our true authentic selves and lead our own lives.
~ Nicky Hassaballa
Below are ways you can connect with Nicky:
Email: nickyhassaballa@gmail.com
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/nicky-hass-713967218
Instagram: @nickyhass14
Facebook: Nicky Hassaballa
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/nicky-hass