My Story: Taking Action Inspite of Fear – Stella Olivia Kikoyo

Remember that being brave is not the lack of fear but the ability to move forward in spite of fear.

15 years ago, I remember when I moved to the UK with my family, I wanted to continue with my career as a lecturer but didn’t know where to start. I went for a Marketing conference organised by a University in London with a view that I would get some information. Throughout the conference I was focused on how to approach whoever was in charge about getting a lecturing position but at the same time I was experiencing fear – fear of rejection or of not being good enough or what would be called fear of failure. I thought it was better to go back home to my family than be disappointed.  

At the end of the conference, I decided to wait until everyone had left the lecture theatre. I scanned for whoever was in charge so that I could approach them. I wanted to make sure that my enquiry was ‘safe.’ I then spotted the person who was in charge standing by the entrance saying goodbyes to participants. I remained seated contemplating coming across as silly and not good enough to lecture in a London University having come from a less developed country. This was my limiting belief! I decided that it was better to leave than face rejection. This was the meaning I attached to my attempt. 

As I started strolling down the steps of the lecture theatre my mind started to move back and forth – “go for it” and “leave it alone” and my heart was pounding so fast at this time, my figures were actually trembling. I remember this day like it was yesterday. When I got to the gentleman, all participants had left. I made a decision to say goodnight and continue with my journey. However before I did so, I thought about the fact that it might take months before I get such an opportunity again given that I had two little ones.  I also thought about what it would mean to be a lecturer in London. I focused on what I wanted at this point. 

I had the qualifications including a UK professional marketing qualification, which meant that I could teach here. However my limiting beliefs were taking over. I then quickly said with so much fear though “excuse me sir.” The gentle man replied, “yes please” giving me full attention. At this point my mind still wanted me to walk away but I decided to introduce myself and provide him with my full background. To my surprise, he welcomed me and encouraged me to contact him as the University had opportunities for lecturers. He gave me his business card and told me to send him my CV.  I thanked him and I left the area almost screaming with joy.  I protected his business card and followed up with him. He then transferred my enquiry to someone else. 

After a couple of months I was called for an interview. At the interview, one of the panelists had had experience with the University I was coming from. This took me by surprise. This person also took over the interview and briefed the rest of the panel members about the University and by the time they came back to me, it was to tell more about when the programs that I was meant to teach on run. To me there was no interview then got the job offer. 

I however started teaching with the same limiting belief of not being good enough and worrying about failing. To my astonishment my first class of professional marketing students praised me as one of their best lecturers! They also all passed highly their qualification, which took my confidence up to the roof. I guess you can see me beaming at this. I had used my own super power – my own experience to teach them and achieve this success.  I continue to hold on to this experience to this day. The rest of my career, my self belief and confidence including starting my women’s network – IWAW CLUB, coaching business and being here have been built on that step that I took that day.

I thus encourage each one of you to move towards your goals inspite of fear. With this, you will be moving down the corridor of opportunity as will be explained later.

Have you ever missed an opportunity – personal or business due to fear?

Have you missed out of any opportunity for growth during these uncertain times due to fear? You’re not alone. Shelmina Abji a former IMB VP and Empowerment speaker shares her experience in the TEDX Video shared below. She faced so many fears a long the way yet she managed to push through to achieve her dreams.

To learn how to overcome fear head here.